The growth of the Internet, usenet, mail lists and IRC has spawned a likewise growth in the use of nicknames, screen names, aliases, etc. We use them to hide behind, to guard our real identities and to express ourselves. We also use them because IRC servers are very unforgiving when it comes to more than one Mary, Bob or TheSmiths. People try to get around them by some very creative spelling and use of _, -, and ^. My own nickname is a good example of the latter.
Choosing a nickname can be an exercise in imagination, along with a healthy dose of intelligence and a bright splash of fun. There are so many things a nickname can say about oneís self. In my case, Iím an amateur birder who knows better than to use any form of chickadee or titmouse, my favorite birds. Why then, do so many submissives limit themselves and their fancies by trying to come up with one more way to spell some form of feline? How many ways are there to spell cat and kitten? Iím afraid we are doomed never to find out.
What mystifies me is why. It seems to me that one would want to somehow express oneís own, unique identity. Itís hard to be unique when youíre one of untold numbers of feline submissives. I know that female submissives...well, all women for that matter...are supposed to exhibit cat-like grace and mystery. Graces and mysteries are best shown, not described. Even T. S. Eliot knew that, thus the third name of cats that no one knows but the cats themselves. Then you have the 101 ways to advertise oneís attractions...sweet, pretty, sassy (lots of them!), cute, red-haired, blue-eyed, and so on. Again, arenít we all sweet, pretty, sassy, cute with sexy hair and gorgeous eyes?
Another whole genre of naming comes from books, movies and TV. I read the Dragonworld series by Anne McCaffrey. I read the Witchworld series of Andre Norton. Iíve read some of the Elric series of Michael Moorcock and Iíve even read the first 7 Gor books. Iíve also seen Star Trek, TNG, Voyager, DS9 and B5. Wonderful writing, entertaining stories, good acting.......but none of it is real! And besides...take a name from one of those and you are taking one that is used..that someone else had first. Letís see..how many people have read those books or seen those shows and movies? So much for unique.
At the other end of the scale we have the names that describe the more graphic aspects of femaleness and bdsm. Yes, dear..we all like to be tied up or bound or whipped or spanked or dominated in some manner. Some of us have large breasts, long legs and we all have (or had) a clit and a pussy. Some of us like to use our mouths or hands or tongues to give pleasure to the one to whom we submit. That is why we are called submissives. So please tell me why so many feel it necessary to put sub, slut or slave, in their many spellings, in their nicknames.
This leaves me with one other idea and itís one I fine distasteful. That is that the sole reasoning behind choosing oneís nickname is to attract a Dom/Master. Yes, we all want to find the One to whom our submission is our greatest gift, but to choose a nickname with the sole purpose of attracting one strikes me as..well...whorish. It strikes me as being very much like dressing like a hooker to get laid. Most of all, it strikes me as very sad that a woman would think so little of herself, not to mention the Dom, that a name was all she had to offer. I would think that a Dom would be much more likely to be drawn to a name that was original and unique as it would indicate a submissive who was also original and unique.
Finally, though this essay has been about submissives, Dominants should read and heed too. All you Ladies, Lords, Sirs, Mistresses and Masters out there.............are ya listening?
Just my not-so-humble opinion.